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As if teachers didn't have enough to get done on a daily basis, school admin goes and schedules mandatory staff meetings during the only times of day that teachers actually have a few minutes to catch up on everything. Between the grading, reports, IEPs, data input, emails from parents, and other paperwork consuming the surface space of a teacher's desk, we can't afford to waste a single minute in a school day. Otherwise, all that work has to be done outside of school hours, the time during which we don't get paid a penny!
So we unenthusiastically drag our zomby-eyed, highly-caffeinated selves into the meeting room, only to listen to a lecture that could have easily been addressed in a single text message or a brief email. Here are just a few things that run through a teacher's mind during those several minutes of life wasted, that we'll never get back, ever.
1. If he keeps reading every PowerPoint slide word-for-word, I think I might jump out that window...
Next time, just send us the PowerPoint file and cancel the meeting. We are teachers, I think we all know how to read.
2. I wouldn't have to be wearing the same pants for the 4th day in a row, right now, if I had this time to do laundry.
I barely have enough time to shower in the morning so I can get here on time for bus duty, yet I have to waste a solid half hour of my day pretending to listen to this nonsense.
3. I wonder if I can fall asleep with my eyes open...
I don't sleep much at night because I can't stop thinking about how my lesson could have gone better each day, why Billy's parents don't return my calls or emails, if I'm going to have enough money to make the bills this month, and how I'm going to manage making copies, tidying my classroom, and going to the bathroom in the 3 minutes I'll have left after all these STAFF MEETINGS during my prep times!
4. I don't get paid enough to sit through this... I could be traveling the world and teaching online.
I love my job and my students, but I would also love more of a social life, a little more autonomy, and working from home or wherever I want sounds pretty intriguing!
5. Oh no, I left that chocolate Easter bunny in my desk drawer, can't forget to eat that before it melts!
That'll probably be my lunch, since I won't have any time to actually eat a meal, and the sugar rush will help me get through the rest of this afternoon!
6. I can't believe this guy gets paid for this. I bet he makes a lot more money than I do, too! Grrr...
With all the degrees, licenses, certifications, and Professional Development I've spent countless years on earning, you'd think they'd leave the teaching part to me, and spend their time making sure the school's safe and secure for the kids.
7. 37 days, 12 hours, 18 minutes, and 23 seconds until summer break... 22... 21... 20...
But who's counting!
8. NO! No one has any questions! *someone asks a question* Are you kidding me right now?!?
There's always one in the faculty — who either loves to hear him/herself talk, is trying to impress the principal, or is oblivious to the fact that the meeting will be prolonged another 10 minutes.
9. Woo hoo! My Amazon Prime order was shipped!
Well, at least I have that to look forward to!
10. Look over here! HEY! Read your text messages! -trying to get the attention of a teacher friend...
Nothing helps pass the time during a staff meeting like a teacher friend to send funny messages back-and-forth with!
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