LAUGH
It may have started with the humble emoticon we all used on our flip phones, but these days it’s all about the emojis. Everyone uses them to convey how they’re feeling, including teachers. But for us, those little faces mean something different than they do for everyone else. So here’s a handy translation guide you can share with non-teachers so they know what we mean.
1. Bladder Control
You have to pee, but it’s hours before your next break. In fact, the need to pee is so great your body has started sweating just to reduce the amount of water in your system.
2. Scribble Analyst
A student just turned in an assignment that is impossible to read. You’re staring at it, turning it upside down, and you’re contemplating contacting someone who is fluent in hieroglyphics.
3. Classroom Quarantine
Your entire class is sick and yet they keep showing up to school every day. You have barricaded yourself behind your desk and are refusing to leave until the school nurse shows up to quarantine the infected students.
4. Mind Blown By Student
A student that hasn’t answered a question correctly all year long suddenly raises their hand and delivers an absolutely perfect explanation of the concept you are teaching. It is quite literally mind-blowing.
5. Pay Day
You have received your paycheck and once again noticed that it, in no way, adequately compensates you for all the work you do at this school.
6. Mind Lost
Your class has, for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, decided to all go insane at exactly the same time. Kids are running amok all over the classroom, no one seems particularly interested in learning and you are seriously considering the old adage “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em”.
7. Teacher Tired
Despite the fact that you have consumed 4 cups of coffee this morning, you are still essentially asleep and operating on auto-pilot. You are praying that no students will ask you a question requiring actual thought until you find a way to wake up.
8. Staff Meeting Accelerator
You are in a faculty meeting and you are refusing to add or say anything to ensure that the meeting will end as quickly as possible. You are also hoping that everyone else in the room follows suit and that one teacher who always has “just one more thing” to add, can stay quiet long enough for you to make your escape.
9. Classroom Climates
You have determined that the only two temperature settings in your classroom are the surface of the sun or the North Pole, and there is no in between. Oddly, your classroom manages to reach both of these extremes in the same day, requiring you to show up to school in a parka, and leave it wearing a tank top.
10. Parent Diplomacy
You are trying to be honest with a student’s parents to let them know that his behavior is… ahem… less than spectacular. But since you’re not allowed to tell them how you REALLY feel, you end up bending the truth just a tad and hope that they can read between the lines.
11. Classroom Management Desperation
You are attempting to quiet down your class, which currently sounds like the hyena pen at the local zoo. You have cajoled, pleaded and downright begged them to focus up and pay attention. You have gone through all your rhythmic clapping games and even uttered “1-2-3 eyes on me” to no avail. Somehow you doubt this finger in front of your lips will do the trick, but honestly, you’re out of ideas.
12. Unannounced Observation
You are losing control of your class and administration has decided to pick this moment to walk into your room and observe you. You have no time to bribe your students into good behavior and your administrator has already started writing notes on their very large notepad.
13. Lesson Plan Fail
You have just asked a question and not one student has raised their hand. You felt really good about this lesson but now you’re wondering where it all went wrong and what you can possibly do to salvage all of this.
14. Teacher Treadmill
You have reached your planning period and right when you think you’re getting a moment of relaxation, you realize you have lesson plans to finish, 80 essays left to grade, and 2 meetings to go to all in the next 30 minutes.
15. Fake Look of Contemplation
Your administrator has just asked for volunteers to help out after school on a Friday. You have no intention of actually volunteering, but you don’t want to be rude about it so you make this face in an attempt to make it seem like you’re considering it.
16. Pretending It Wasn’t You Who Broke the Printer
You just tried to use the copy machine and jammed it. You realize that if anyone finds out it was you, there will be an angry mob outside your classroom door. So you slowly walk away from the printer and try to get the faculty to think you are a blameless angel.
17. Getting your new class roster
You look at your class roster at the beginning of the school year and notice a lot of familiar names. Then you realize the reason they’re so familiar is they are constantly being called into the principal’s office for misbehaving.
18. Friday Face
It is Friday afternoon and your weekend has begun. You are filled with excitement at all of the wonderful things you are going to do, all the fun you’re going to have and all the sleep you’re going to catch up on.
19. Sunday Sob
It is now Sunday evening and you realize the weekend is coming to an end. Also, you didn’t get nearly enough sleep, and you weren’t really able to do anything fun because of all the housework you had to catch up on.
20. Summer Break
It’s the last day of school and summer has arrived. It’s party time in the faculty lounge as you watch the last bus carrying the last batch of students pull away. You have officially made it to the end of another emoji-filled school year.
