LAUGH
Welcome to the weirdest year of your teaching career… by a long shot! No, this is not what any of us wanted or expected, but it’s what we have and now it’s time to do what teachers do best: soldier on and make the best of it. No one is better at making lemonade out of lemons than teachers.
Here are just a few examples of what life is like for us these days.
1. The schedule merry-go-round
As if trying to teach virtually and face-to-face isn’t hard enough, let’s complicate matters by ping-ponging kids back and forth between all of your classes. For every new schedule change there’s a seating chart somewhere that gets lit on fire.
2. Information overload
We truly do appreciate all our administrators do for us, but holy crap guys could you possibly give us any MORE policies? And every time you think you finally have a handle on the situation, along comes another email blowing everything up again.
3. The question of the year!
Those of us teaching face-to-face had the dubious task of relaying all of these new protocols to our students who were, rightfully so, just as confused as we were. No, none of it makes sense… but we have to do it anyway.
4. Stampede!
Fire drills are like elephant stampedes through a jungle on a GOOD day anyway. Add in teachers trying to keep students 6 feet from each other as they barrel down the halls crashing into everything they see? Good luck with that.
5. A whole new level of exhaustion
Teaching has always been a tiring profession, and yet somehow 2020 found a way to make it even more so. How is teaching while sitting in front of a computer so taxing?
6. Moving the goalposts
It never fails. After the first couple of weeks of school, you finally get into a routine and think you may know what you’re doing. Then along comes a whole new slew of changes and pitfalls and suddenly you’re back at square one, just as confused as ever.
7. Your guess is as good as mine
Trust me, if I knew when things were going back to normal I would circle that day on the calendar and plan a party to end all parties. We’re all wondering the same thing, kiddo. And none of us have the answer.
8. Keeping students engaged that are sitting in front of you: pretty simple
Keeping students engaged while they Zoom from their bedroom: more challenging. Trying to do both at the same time: Are you KIDDING me??
9. Deep breaths everybody
Sometimes all you can do is take a deep breath, compose yourself, and realize that the minute you walk through those doors you’re going to enter a hellscape where literally anything is possible.
10. Zoom meetings don’t exactly “zoom” right along
One of the struggles teachers are facing right now is trying to keep online students at the same pace as in-person students. That’s really hard to do when the first 15 minutes of every class is spent taking attendance and figuring out everyone’s technical issues.
11. Freedom!
We all know the importance of wearing masks, but wearing them all day is just plain uncomfortable. Talking while wearing a mask isn’t easy either, and doing it for 7 hours straight is a workout. Teachers will have unrivaled lung capacity when this year is over.
12. Teachers for life
We grumble, we complain, we may even threaten to leave and never come back… and yet we (mostly) always do. We can’t help it, we love those kids… and we’re also suckers for punishment.
13. Everything old is new again
Sure these are unprecedented times, but some things will never change. Like students waiting until the very last minute to complete an assignment they could have turned in days ago.
14. It’s hot these rhinos.
We’ve all experienced the humidity and moisture that builds up inside your mask when you’re talking at full volume all day long, but if you happen to be doing so in the middle of a heatwave and (God forbid!) no A/C, then you might as well be taking a stroll through the jungle wearing thermal underwear.
15. Kids say the darndest things!
You know a plan is poorly constructed when a child takes one look at it and says “that’ll never work”. You’re right Timmy, this isn’t going to work, but we all have to pretend that it is working anyway. Welcome to adulthood.
16. Asynchronous learning is a giant pain in the A
Does any other profession get asked to multi-task as much as teachers? Are doctors ever writing prescriptions while in surgery? Are lawyers ever meeting with one client while defending another? Nope? Just us? Cool.
17. You wanna repeat that?
There are a lot of misconceptions about teaching out there, but if anyone thinks virtual teaching is easier… they need to walk a mile in my Zoom class and let me know how it goes.
18. Smooth as sandpaper.
Trying to keep a handle on everything while navigating through a normal teaching day is tough enough, but when you add in all the new guidelines, teaching two different styles at the same time, AND trying to speak at full volume through a mask for 7 hours a day it’s like playing the game of life on the hardest difficulty setting you can find.
19. The “turn in” button will be the end of us.
20. But there’s always at least one who steals our heart!
