LAUGH
It’s finally summer and we teachers have never been happier! Here are 20 ways to know you’re a teacher on summer break.
1. You are no longer a slave to your damn alarm clock.
Yay! You aren’t waking up at thecrackof dawn every day when it is still dark out. Sleeping in has never felt so glorious!
2. You forget that you can pee any time you want.
We are so used to holding our bladder that it takes us a few weeks to understand that we can use the bathroom at any time.
3. You feel immense satisfaction when a child starts misbehaving in public and you don’t have to do anything about it.
Parents, it is your turn to be with your kiddos 8 hours a day. May the force be with you!
4. You forget that people still have to work over the summer.
What do you MEAN you can’t hang out and go to the beach during the weekday? It’s summer! We should all be dipping our toes into some body of water during peak sun hours!
5. You are no longer restricted to reading books at a 3rd Grade level.
You want to read Fifty Shades of Grey or something else equally salacious? Go on with your bad self and read as many adult novels as possible. You only get three good months to do so.
6. Your new office is by the pool sipping on an adult beverage.
Look…we still have
7. You have a large amount of time to resume that exercise routine that has been on hold since Christmas.
Hallelujah! You actually have time to go to the gym and take care of your temple of a body.
8. You start to panic about your bank account in July.
There is a reason most teachers take on at least one summer job. Our funds start to magically disappear halfway through summer and that is when the real panic sets in.
9. You can now run errands at normal people hours instead of cramming everything in on the weekend.
Grocery shopping at 10 a.m. on a Wednesday?! What is this sorcery???
10. Your legs are no longer imprisoned in business casual pants.
Bring on the shorts and the tank tops! I’m breaking dress code and it feels so good!
11. You can binge-watch a Netflix show without simultaneously grading a large stack of papers.
Banish those red pens from your presence. It is just you, your trashy TV, and some chips and guac.
12. Seeing the school supply section in Target in JULY nearly puts you over the edge.
Let me enjoy my break in peace! Why do they start busting out supplies earlier and earlier every year? Let us teachers LIVE!
13. Your search bar history involves several Pinterest posts and TPT items.
We can’t help it if our brains start to jump into next year. We are just casually scrolling to get some brilliant ideas for our new bunch of munchkins.
14. You start to miss lots of children who aren’t your own.
What is Johnny doing right now? Did Suzie like the camp that she said she was scared to go to? And did Diego already take that family vacay to Hawaii? We need answers!
15. You become the best mother/father/partner/daughter/son/sister/friend that you have been in 12 months.
You can finally focus your energy on being the best version of yourself for your family. They put up with a lot and they really deserve it!
16. Your lunches are no longer giant bags of Doritos and a Diet Coke.
You actually have space in your mind to cobble together a pretty well-balanced meal. Yay to not eating like a 14-year-old every day!
17. You resume doing hobbies that you forgot you liked immensely.
Are you a rock-climber? Guitar-player? Master knitter? Now is the time to reconnect with yourself and the things you are most passionate about! I’m guessing they took a backseat to taking care of 30 plus children all year round.
18. You are confused about the utter lack of 30 children saying your name and getting in your personal space.
What is this thing called silence and why is it so rare in my life?
19. You can finally make those appointments you have been putting off all year long.
Whether it is a teeth-cleaning or an annual eye exam, you magically have time to finally take care of yourself after 9 months of your body gradually falling apart.
20. You get the same mix of emotions that students get when August rolls around.
You are bummed about the end of summer vacay, but you are excited and somewhat nervous to start a fresh school year with a whole new batch of students.
