I was scrolling through Facebook when a photo of my friend Katie, a high school teacher, caught my eye. She was holding a large yellow lizard and smiling so big I couldn’t help but smile myself. And then I laughed so hard I nearly spit out my coffee when I read the caption.
One of my students brought her emotional support bearded dragon to school to help her with her exams. She had it hidden in her sweatshirt.”
Katie teaches high school biology, owns bearded dragons herself and has a fantastic sense of humor. This little stowaway would have caused us to scream, but it made her day. We became curious about what other random surprises teachers have found in the possession of students, so we polled our teacher friends to find the most hilarious classroom discoveries. There seem to be a few basic categories of goods smuggled into school: nature, gross, random and dangerous. Some items fit more than one category!
NATURE
Many live creatures have been found hidden in backpacks. One teacher “noticed a weird smell starting to permeate the room” her first year teaching. Her investigation revealed a dead opossum. A student found it on the way to school days before and had been carrying it in his backpack until he had “time to bury it.” Other entries to the nature category include:
1. Cockroaches
2. Snapping turtles
There is a live turtle somewhere in my classroom because a student brought a turtle to school and let it out of its cage…….. I DEFINITELY don’t get paid enough for this bs pic.twitter.com/XnAO7ule7f
— Jackie English (@Jackie_Spanish) February 1, 2019
3. Baby opossums (alive… or dead)
Meanwhile in my classroom, a student brought 1/2 a possum to school to share in science which made our trauma dog very excited #WhyITeach
— Youth Activism 101 (@YActivism101) March 13, 2019
4. Baby bats
A student brought a dead bat to school. This is not a drill. pic.twitter.com/IcX3trjY2L
— Sara Michelle (@sarambcraft) May 9, 2019
5. Snakes
6. Goldfish in a Thermos
??? You never know what to expect in middle school! A student brought her pet goldfish to school today because…why not?! I so needed this laugh today. #freegoldie pic.twitter.com/cf0YbQkbvw
— Dr. Briana Morton (@briana_morton1) April 6, 2018
7. Hampsters, mice, and gerbils
Just when I thought I’d seen everything in kindergarten…. one of my students brought a DEAD MOUSE to school today and hid it in her coat for an entire hour before we found it. Happy Halloween I’m horrified
— v (@odetovalerie) October 31, 2018
8. Many other various insects, amphibians and reptiles found on the way to school or smuggled in from recess
Student brought his pet wasp to school today. Its name: Ronnie. OMG…
— Neil Spears (@neilspears) May 28, 2009
GROSS STUFF
My daughter liked saving her baby teeth in a small decorative container. She came home from elementary school frantic one day. She’d secretly transferred the teeth to a ziplock bag, brought them to school and lost them! I emailed her teacher who was relieved to find the owner of a baggie of loose human teeth that had mysteriously appeared on her desk the day before. My child isn’t the only one bringing yucky stuff to school. Teachers have also discovered:
9. Used Q-tips
10. Nail clippings
11. Rotted Halloween jack-o-lantern
12. New sibling’s poop-filled diaper
…S/O TO MY STUDENT WHO BROUGHT A DIRTY DIAPER TO SCHOOL IN HIS BOOKBAG! #professionalrolemodel
— WhoDIGGSMe? (@WhoDIGGSMe) November 21, 2012
13. Lollipop covered in ants
RANDOM WEIRDNESS
Random items usually belong to someone else and parents rarely know they have them. A few “treasures” include:
14. Grandpa’s ashes
15. A flask used as a water bottle…
(because it fit better inside the student’s bag than a traditional water bottle)
One of my students brought a bedazzled flask to school filled with orange juice and I’m crying??
— jayda morelle (@rayphandjayda) December 15, 2016
16. Concrete brick
17. Mom’s expensive perfume
18. Mom’s diamond engagement ring
19. Fuzzy handcuffs
(which the teenage boy claimed belonged to his mom)
Today one of my students (kindergarten) brought “toy” handcuffs to school that her mom gave her….. they were pink and fuzzy. Why
— Raegan (@rmciszek) February 2, 2018
20. Cat whiskers
21. A wad of cash
My cousin is a 4th grade teacher and she just said that one of her students brought $8,000 in cash to school I’m dead lmaooo
— kristen ?⭐️ (@KristenAllennn) March 4, 2017
22. A gun case used as a lunchbox
DANGEROUS OR QUESTIONABLE
Sure, it’s annoying, but not totally unexpected when high school students show up with contraband such as lighters, cigarettes, pills or even weapons or drugs. But preschool and elementary school teachers also reported dangerous and questionable items brought into school by young students.
23. Cigarette butts the child tried to light at recess
24. Bullets
25. Various medication
26. Weed (in a preschool classroom)
27. Barbeque lighters
Well one of my students brought a torch lighter to school today so that’s cool ?
— OG Bobby Johnson (@fohizzlemynizzl) March 7, 2017
28. Cigarette lighters
29. Cigars
29. Hammers and other tools
One of my students brought a giant foam hammer to school today to celebrate “Thors-day”.
— Adam ?Peterson (@MrAdamPeterson) May 3, 2012
My life is strange indeed.
30. Kitchen knives
31. Vape pens – before we knew what they were
32. Adult magazines
One of my students brought a porn mag to school. Lovely.
— Crystal (@cdsw725) March 20, 2009
33. Brass knuckles
34. Firecrackers or fireworks
One of my grade six students brought fireworks to school today. Awesome. Spent the morning looking up how fireworks can harm you. Gross.
— Andie Wild (@andiejean) May 25, 2012
35. Live wasp nest
So what do you do when you find something that shouldn’t’ be at school? Step one is to try not to freak out, even if there’s a snake slithering around your classroom. Of course, if the item is truly dangerous, you’ll need to immediately follow proper protocol for keeping students safe. However, most items allow time to calmly call the administration for backup and then call or email the child’s parent with news of your discovery.
Step two is to try not to laugh hysterically – until you get to the teacher’s lounge. Teaching is hard, but at least kids give us great stories to tell at parties!