“The dog ate my homework” is old news. We asked actual teachers for the worst/best excuses they’ve heard from students this school year.

Best excuses teachers have heard from students

Weird happenings:

Most teachers agree the best excuses (or worst?) are often the most bizarre.

  1. “Marker accidentally got all over my camera, so that’s why you can’t see on my screen.”
  2. “My math book caught on fire.”
  3. “This email is to inform you that I didn’t do my homework and can’t log on to class because I have no Wi-Fi.”
  4. “There’s a hair in my belly button and I won’t be able to concentrate until I get it out.”
  5. “We just found out a homeless man is living in our basement and keeps unplugging the Wi-Fi right when it’s time for Zoom school!”
  6. “I went fishing and was chased by a shark, so I didn’t have time to do my assignment.”
  7. “A squirrel stole my reading log.”
  8. “I don’t know how to take a picture with my phone.”
  9. “I’m still learning how to use my superpowers and accidentally burned my computer with my laser beam vision so all my assignments will be late.”
  10. “I left my backpack outside and our new goats ate all of my books and assignments.”

Family matters

School may be the student’s responsibility, but that doesn’t stop them from spreading the blame! Here are some of the best excuses involving mom, dad, grandma, siblings,…and even spouses!

  1. “My mom forgot to pray for me this morning, so that’s why I’m not following directions.”
  2. “The app on my mom’s phone glitched and she couldn’t find the actual key to start her car.”
  3. “My husband will do the work for me.” – Kindergartener
  4. “I wasn’t able to do my homework last night because my grandma needed the computer to chat with her boyfriend.”
  5. “Sorry I’m late. It was my turn to walk the horses and it took longer than I expected.”
  6. “I was busy helping my aunt make a Tinder profile.”
  7. “I’m grounded, so I couldn’t do my homework.”
  8. “My dad said we need to cut our budget, so I’m going to cut down on school.”
  9. “My little sister peed on my Chromebook.”

Hamster problems

Hamsters seem to be the new problem pet.

  1. “My hamster is missing.”
  2. “The hamster jumped out the window!”
  3. “My dog ate my hamster.”
  4. “I couldn’t log on because my hamster pooped on my keyboard and now my Chromebook isn’t working.”
  5. “My hamster chewed through my power cord.”

Mysterious ailments

Some of the worst/best excuses are when kids diagnose their own medical conditions

  1. “I need to be excused from the test because my menopause is making it hard to concentrate today” – 4th grade boy
  2. “My gout is really acting up so I wasn’t able to do the homework last night.”
  3. “I sprained my ankle, so I can’t come to Zoom class.”
  4. “My grandma says I have come down with a serious case of sass mouth. I think I’m too sick to work today.”
  5. “I got a flu shot last week and my arm hurts too much to write.”
  6. “I’m only nine. That’s way too young for homework.”

The truth of the matter

No, they didn’t do the work, but at least they were honest, right?

  1. “I got distracted looking at pictures of dogs.”
  2. “I’m not prepared for this assessment because I didn’t do the virtual lessons.”
  3. “I lost track of time watching TikToks and didn’t do my assignment.”

Keeping it short and simple

Because it’s hard constantly thinking up the best excuses…

  1. “No, thank you.”
  2. “Bruh.”

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