Classroom Management
I admit it. I rarely contact parents about their child’s grades or missing assignments. They have access to those things via the parent portal, and they have my email address if they have any questions or concerns. Frankly, I don’t think it’s my job to reach out to parents with information their children should be giving them or that they could easily access themselves. But the main reason I don’t reach out to parents about their child’s grades is that my time is limited. So I figured, if I am going to spend a portion of it contacting parents, I should spend it giving them positive feedback about their child. In my experience, this can have a far more positive impact. Here are a few reasons why.
1. Parents need this encouragement.
Being a parent is hard–really hard. All of my children have been pretty good students (most of the time), but what their teachers see–positive attitudes, class participation, cooperative behavior–is not always what I see at home. At home, I’m dealing with complaining, procrastinating, and sometimes surly attitudes. And I know I’m not the only one. I’ve reached out to the parents of a lot of “good kids” with praise and encouragement, and they are always grateful. Finally! Confirmation that all the prompting, reminding, and cajoling is paying off.
Of course, parents of struggling students are no less grateful to hear good things about their kids. For moms and dads who have been struggling right along with their kids, positive feedback might be just the boost they need to stay the course because it’s a reminder that all their hard-fought battles are worth it. But for parents who are (how do I put this?) part of the problem, a word of encouragement is sometimes more effective than more of the same complaints and concerns they’ve been hearing for months or years.
Hearing that a child who has been struggling with their grades is helpful, finding out that the kid with attention issues is cheerful, or learning that a student with behavior problems sometimes has a sweet side can prompt some parents to look for and encourage positive behaviors that they had previously given up on.
2. Students need to “overhear” positive things about themselves.
Calling or emailing parents can be a quick and effective way to communicate. But sometimes I don’t just want mom and dad to hear good things about their child, I want the child to hear (or read) them too–and to know I care enough to share positive comments with their parents. A few years ago I started using these old-school carbon copy notes to send encouraging notes home. I love the look on students’ faces when I present them with a note home and encourage them to read it too. Most kids are genuinely surprised to read something positive about themselves and thrilled to be able to share that at home. For a student whose school days or home life are often less than positive, this kind of confidence boost is worth the extra trouble of handwriting a quick note.
3. A positive conversation with mom and dad can lead to positive behavior changes in class.
Sometimes kids will fall into patterns of bad behavior or poor habits, and they become discouraged because they simply don’t know how to turn it around. When that happens, a positive phone call to mom and dad or a quick note home might be just the thing to encourage better behavior. After all, if a kid finds out their teacher thinks they are helpful, hardworking, cheerful, or kind, they might start believing it–and acting like it.
4. Positive communication builds a positive rapport with parents.
Every teacher knows that some parents, particularly those whose kids have struggled in school, can be defensive. I’ve found that by using positive communication to build a positive rapport, prickly parents sometimes soften and become more cooperative and willing to work together to help their child.
5. To communicate positive things about my students, I have to look for positive things about my students.
This can be the most challenging thing about my commitment to give positive feedback. With some kids, I have to dig deep–really, really deep–to find something encouraging to share. And that is good for me. When it comes to that kid, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of negativity. Finding something positive can break that pattern.
Writing or calling parents with positive comments takes time. It’s not something I can do every day. But unlike some other forms of parent communication, I do enjoy it. I like looking for the good in my students and sharing that with frustrated or discouraged parents. Mostly, I like how it makes my kids feel about themselves. It’s definitely worth the time and effort.
