1. And Earth is the best planet in the world…
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By those standards, you’re not wrong!
2. Endangered bald parrots.
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Yo, that parrot is creepy AF! Why is it on that flag???
3. What to do without spell check!
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If you’ve left your parents’ house and pay your own bills then this holiday is for you!
4. Remember…
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Shortly thereafter, Odysseus and Jesus signed the Treaty of Versailles, and that is why we celebrate today!
5. No comment.
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If only we could form a contented congress again. Those were magical times, but unfortunately, those virgin singers are still dead.
6. President “Imeges” on the dollar bill.
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You see kids, sometimes Google doesn’t work!
7. Hmm…
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You’ve come a long way! A lot longer than we originally thought!
8. Math is important.
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The extra eleven is for good luck!
9. Intelligent idea…
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And I need the next day off to nurse my hangover! It should always be a Saturday!
10. Keep it real C-money!
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Yo when he created dat joint, it was lit!
11. Someone fell asleep in American History class…
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Wrong imperialist nation Tanner! Not a bad guess though.
12. Not false.
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Obviously.
13. And I hate Mondays so…
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Then it must be the 3rd!
14. Free taxi rides and dangerous tea, yup…
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I would start a war too if people put tacks in my tea! That’s messed up! And if I got free taxi rides out of it, win-win!
15. Faith in the future of humanity = 0
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Both.
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This article was written by Jane Morris — author of the bestselling book: Teacher Misery. Connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr.