LAUGH
Before you come at me thinking I have completely flown off the deep end and lost my ever-loving mind, please hear me out. I promise it will all make sense. In case you have been living under a rock, Linda McMahon, of WWE fame, was recently appointed by President Trump to be the new Secretary of Education.
Teaching and WWE might seem like worlds apart, but trust me—they’re more similar than you think. Both involve chaos, drama, and the constant feeling that you’re one chair shot away from losing it all.
Here are some relatable ways the world of professional wrestling mirrors the life of an educator.
1. Tag team hand off
When the final bell rings at the end of the school year, we are completely OVER IT. Every bit of our patience, sanity, and life within us has been stretched like a rubber band about to snap back and hit us square in the face.
We are ready to hand our students off to their parents with an evil grin and a knowing look and shout at them, “Time to reap what you sow, suckers!”
2. You’re always “on stage”
Much like WWE, we have to go to great lengths to keep the attention of our audience. Yes, we sometimes resort to dressing in capes and standing on tables.
3. Unexpected plot twists
One day, Hulk Hogan is a good guy fighting against an evil villain; the next day, he is the evil villain.
One day, our principal is our pal, and the next, they are piling on work like a plate of food at a Thanksgiving meal.
See, it’s all the same. No loyalty.
4. “Signature moves”
While WWE has signature moves like The Stone Cold Stunner and the Tombstone Piledriver, we have “Macaroni and cheese, everybody freeze!” and “Flat tire……shhhhhhhhhh!”
High tech stuff.
5. The post-match recap
Who remembers “Mean” Gene Okerlund? He would often look entirely shocked and confused by what the wrestlers would say to him after a match.
This is the same as our coworkers when we explained that one of our students applied gluestick like a fresh tube of cherry chapstick: pure shock and awe.
6. Crowd control
WWE unruly spectators have nothing over hormonal teenagers, kids who miss their mommies, and students who have no consequences at home. Honestly, it’s probably much easier being a wrestler, but maybe Linda McMahon will get the idea.
7. Sneak attacks
While WWE wrestlers might get a steel chair to the back, teachers turn around to find snot being wiped on our pants and students asking to use the bathroom all at once.
8. Constant refereeing
WWE referees try to keep the wrestlers from flying off the handle and losing their Shi$#! This is the exact same situation as teaching. There is no difference.
9. Theme music is everything
We have all seen WWE wrestlers’ grand entrances. The crowd is transfixed, and the music creates the mood.
This is the same thing that Jack Hartmann does for our students. Some of us also blast heavy metal in the morning to prepare ourselves mentally.
10. The royal rumble
In this celebrated event, the ring fills with many fighters, and everyone struggles to be the last one standing. Umm, this is teaching in a nutshell. Teachers try to be the last ones standing all day, every day. We often fail miserably.
So if you were one of the folks shaking your head in disbelief at the odd choice of Linda McMahon as our new Secretary of Education, now you understand.
