LAUGH
We asked the BT Facebook and Instagram communities to share some of the most ridiculous parent requests they’ve ever received. Some of the responses we got back are almost hard to believe are real…
1. “Can’t you just let him be the line leader every day? That’s all he wants.”
2. “Could you please text me every morning my child has PE so I can remind her to bring in her PE clothes? Thank you so much!”
3. “You shouldn’t have gotten pregnant if it was going to interfere with your teaching. You should have planned better.”
4. “Please stop writing on the board with your left hand. It is confusing the right-handed kids.”
5. “When would be a good time for me to come into school to breastfeed my son?”
6. “Could you please prepare a hot cup of tea for my son each morning when he arrives at school?”
7. “No books will come home. My child will not read at home, they read at school and they don’t need to at home.”
8. “Could you provide a private place for my son at school so he can pleasure himself if he needs to?”
9. “My son lost part of his finger in an accident at home. I have it in a ziplock in the freezer and wanted to see if he could bring it to school for show and tell?”
10. “Please don’t let my son use the color pink for anything or any reason. No pink paper, markers, paint, etc.”
11. “Would you be interested in making my son lunch every day? I’m so busy with work and you don’t have any children. I can pay you $2 per meal, so you could make an extra $40/month!”
12. “Could you help calm down my son when he gets worked up? He likes to be rubbed down with lotion.”
13. “Sweetheart, I pay your salary. My son will bring in whatever he damn well pleases, even if it’s an inflatable pool whale.”
14. “Please make sure that my son’s HW is completed before I pick him up from school. I’m tired when I get home and I don’t feel like helping him.”
15. “You can not penalize my son for plagiarizing on his science fair project because I did that part, so it’s my fault.”
16. “Can you just give students incentive to complete their work?”
17. “Could you possibly wait on getting pregnant? It’s really going to disrupt my child’s learning.”
18. “Please teach my daughter how to use these.” (on a sticky note attached to a box of tampons that was sent to school by a parent)
19. “My child will need you to call their sibling from another class when they go the bathroom so they can help each other.”
20. “My son loves to “game,” so if you could provide homework that is like gaming, it would be easier for him to do.”
21. “Could you speak to my daughter about getting more work done at home?” (during quarantine when both parents were home all the time)
22. “Can my son bring a sippy cup of breast milk? And could you store some extra (breast milk) in the class refrigerator to keep the sippy cup full?”
23. “How about we keep the school open during breaks and holidays to make up for the remote learning period.”
24. “Would you be willing to learn the harmonica to play for my daughter to keep her happy?”
25. “Can you send voice messages every day saying: ‘It’s homework time, do your work now!’ in a happy voice? This would be so much fun!”
26. “I sent pull-ups and wipes with my son today because he was constipated this morning so I gave him a laxative before school. Could you help with cleaning him up?”
27. “Could you please call me directly anytime there is an announcement that pertains to my child because I don’t want to have to check my email?”
28. “Could you come into school during winter break to help my son make up all the missing assignments from your class?”
29. “Can you keep track of my daughter’s daily vaginal discharge?”
30. “Can you go ahead and email me your lesson plans every morning so I know what you’ll be doing? I used to be a teacher so I’ll give you feedback to let you know what I think.”
31. “Can you please send me all of the answers to the test so I can quiz my son beforehand?”
32. “Can you screen my child’s urine for a kidney stone and send it home if you catch it?”
33. “I know you probably don’t start until August, but do you have time to meet before the start of school? I would love to share with you all about the wonderful things that she is doing.”
34. “Are you going to pay to replace my daughter’s pants.” (A parent after her daughter fell on the blacktop at recess and tore a hole in her pants)
35. “Could please keep (a specific brand of toilet paper) in the classroom for my son and bring it with you to every group bathroom trip? He doesn’t like the toilet paper in the bathroom.”
36. “Can you make sure my daughter brings her leftover soy milk home so I can have it in my coffee tomorrow morning?”
37. “Could you change your maternity leave date until my son meets his IEP goal?”
38. “Please follow the step-by-step instructions (with pictures) on how to do my daughter’s hair for picture day.”
39. “I would appreciate it if you do not talk to my son while you’re on your period.”
40. “Please email me every day about what my son does in class, what the lesson was, and what the assignment was.”
41. “We’re going on vacation out of the country this Friday and will be gone for a month. Please send all of my daughter’s assignments that she will be missing by Thursday.”
42. “I can’t come in to get the packet … could you just run it out to my husband’s workplace just outside of town?”
43. “My child won’t make his bed. Can you encourage him how to do it? He listens better to you.”
44. “I demand that you postpone the test on Friday. My son has basketball practice and a baseball game the night before.”
45. “It is not acceptable to be that heavily pregnant and teach. It reminds the male students of what you had been doing.”
46. “Is it OK for us to come make copies at your home? All these assignements are costing us a lot of money in ink.” Parent during Covid shutdown.
47. “I’d appreciate it if you could send home a copy of your day plan every day so I know what to discuss at the dinner table.”
48. “Can’t you just give him an A? I know he did not do any of the work assigned, and that he has been given a couple of extensions, but can you make an exception?”
49. “I work night shifts as a nurse and sleep during the day. Is it possible to have a conference over the phone someday this week before 4:30am? Thanks.”
50. “Can you just tough it up next time you’re sick? Last week’s sick day you took really threw my son off. I’m afraid he will fall behind if it happens again. Thanks!”
51. “Can you teach my son how to ride a bike?”
52. “Why do you teach old history? You should only teach new history. My son gets easily bored with old stuff.”
53. “Are you available to torture my child during weekends?” (typo > she meant “tutor”)
54. “After returning from maternity leave, a parent sent me an email on my first Mother’s Day and cc’d my principal. She was displeased that I had returned and preferred the substitute. She was also upset that I was more concerned for my newborn child than I was for her son.”
55. “I do not believe in discipline, so don’t ask me to do anything about my child’s behavior!”
56. “Could you please call me every time my son has a BM? We live close to school and I’d like to come and wipe his ‘tushy’.”
57. “Stop telling my child what to do. It makes him angry.”
58. “I need you to cut my son’s lunch into small pieces then put ONLY one piece at a time in his mouth.”
59. I was asked to return the portion of my paycheck that I get paid to teach her child because her child “clearly didn’t learn anything new this school year.”
60. “It is YOUR fault my child failed that test. You must make up for it whether it be on the weekend or after school, you will tutor my child until she passes, that is your job.”
61. “When my son misbehaves, could you just let him lead all the other kids in song and dance it out?”
62. “Please tell my son that there are cameras in the restroom so I know if he wipes or not.”
