LAUGH
G’day and welcome back to “Mysterious Creatures”. In this episode, we’ll be trying to track down one of the hardest creatures to spot on planet Earth: the Winter Break Teacher. There are many reasons why this particular teacher is so elusive and hard to find, but maybe if we’re lucky we can get a glimpse of one. Let’s start by tracking the teacher to places it feels most comfortable.
1. Home
This is most likely the place the winter break Teacher will be hiding. More often than not, they’ll be curled up in bed buried under a pile of blankets and sheets. This acts as a protective barrier from the rest of the world. It also offers the teacher an opportunity to slip into a period of hibernation, which it desperately needs after several months locked inside a classroom.
Believe it or not, some teachers will actually stay in this position for almost the entire winter break, leaving only to forage for food and snacks before returning to the comfort of their bedroom. Sometimes if you listen carefully you can even hear the sounds of TV series’ being binge-watched as the teacher will attempt to catch up on 4 months of pop culture references in just two weeks.
2. Target
If the teacher leaves their house during winter break, one of their most likely locations will be to their local Target. This will be a supply run to replenish their stock of snack foods and school supplies. Many teachers visit Target so often that it feels like a second home, so during the winter break they will gravitate there when necessary.
Spotting a winter break teacher at Target is rare however, because of their desire to stay as far away from other humans as possible. Oftentimes, they show up disguised or wearing pajamas as a way to discourage others from talking to them. If you do happen to run into a teacher in this environment, approach with caution!
3. The Doctor’s Office
Winter break is often when teachers will visit as many medical professionals as they can. This is partly because they finally have time to go to the doctor, and also because after a semester of teaching their bodies are falling apart. It’s usually fairly easy to spot a winter break teacher at the doctor’s office. Check for large bags under their eyes and symptoms that are somewhere between the flu and a zombie apocalypse outbreak.
4. Restaurants
Occasionally, a winter break teacher will venture further outside of their comfort zone and visit a local restaurant. This is a concept that is intriguing to the teacher because it involves a well-cooked meal that they didn’t have to prepare. Teachers enter winter break with very low energy levels, so the idea of eating food without cooking is an attractive one.
On the rarest of occasions, some winter break teachers will even dress up and go to these restaurants with other adults of their choosing. This is attractive to the teacher because they spend so much time talking to children, that they yearn for intelligent adult conversation. Here you’ll find teachers enjoying their meal instead of their normal lunch routine of shoveling it in their face. They might even start to blend in with the other adults around them as they slowly reacclimate themselves to being normal members of society again.
Sadly, this process is short-lived, for the teacher will soon lose the comforts of Winter break. When Winter Break nears its end, they’ll revert back to their normal routines, leaving before sunrise and returning home well-after sunset, dragging stacks of papers with them in both directions. On the last day of Winter Break, you can often hear the pained cries of teachers coming from their homes as they realize they must, in fact, return to work.
They know now, that a long journey awaits them before another break arrives in the Spring.
Also read: 10 Ways to Spot a Teacher in Public
