LAUGH
Oh, the joys of November. Yup, a few months ago we were clinging onto the last few minutes of summer, then the excitement of the seasonal change in fall, and even Halloween festivities kept you going. Now, this. Brown, dark, and spending your days trying to find pants that still fit. It is the equivalent of a pop quiz in math class. You don’t hate it, but you aren’t exactly thrilled that it’s there either. As a teacher, you can be as creative as you want and come up with all the fun November activities you can think of, but then you have to plan past November 4th and you are scrambling to find any way possible to keep the kittens herded. Here are eleven reasons why the 11th month of the year is not our favorite.
1. The Sugar High is Over.
All that anticipation for Halloween, the fun lessons, the themed days, and the bite-size moments of happiness are now over. The coma has come back over their eyes and you are left with the glaze. No, not the doughnuts. Everyone that was so happy for ghosts and ghouls are now just ghastly sick and zombie-ing their way through your lessons.
2. No Breaks, No Glory.
Four straight weeks of school. No fun fall breaks. No half-days to look forward to. Pure unadulterated math, science, and snotty noses. It isn’t until the end of the month that we get a couple of days off and even at that point, chances are your entire family is over, and you need to cook for 350 hungry, loud people.
3. The Weather.
It’s like Mother Nature loses her mind in November. It’s too cold to take the little ones outside. It’s way too windy to do that nature walk you wanted to in science class. Oh look, some sunshine! Oh wait, there it goes back behind those black clouds again. It looks like the apocalypse is upon us when the leaves are all gone and you’re walking through the parking lot at 6 pm just hoping it doesn’t start raining again.
4. Time Change.
You were just getting used to your school schedule and finally not having to screech into the parking lot on two wheels to make it before the bell. Well, November says it’s going to ruin the 3 hours of sleep you were getting and even make you late to lunch and special classes for the first week. Just when you had your life almost right, the world turns off the lights before you even leave school, and you know nothing is going to get accomplished after school, now.
5. Pumpkin Overload.
You enjoyed that very first Pumpkin Spice Latte at your desk, but now it’s getting ridiculous. Pumpkin cookies, pumpkin gum, pumpkin scented pencils, pumpkin pie-shaped erasers. It was worth the wait for that pumpkin creamer you used to mask the stale, workroom coffee Karen made, but if you get one more pumpkin-spiced thing that isn’t a cold beer, you might lose it.
6. Weight Gain.
Bring on the stretchy pants and sweaters. You tried your best to start the year off right, packing your lunch and drinking plenty of water, but November is so depressing, we start eating more and more. Thanksgiving is like a bunch of football players at the training table and you’re finishing off the night with mouthfuls of whipped cream, telling your silent dog not to judge you.
7. Class is getting real.
The projects are over and it’s time to get down to business. Final exams are lurking in the near future. The kids who haven’t struck a lick are realizing they don’t want to take this class over. You’ve kicked the transmission into overdrive, but you forget that you are driving a Barbie bike that still has one training wheel. You know the parent calls are coming, so you’re teaching like a madman to ward them off.
8. The in-laws.
For the past 3 months, you’ve made the excuse that you’re busy grading papers or doing lesson plans and you just can’t make it to dinner with your mother-in-law. That time is up. You’re going to have to put on real clothes and your best fake smile when all you really want to do is put on sweatpants and fall asleep to Netflix asking if you’re still there. Thanksgiving break is coming and you can’t hide behind science projects. You have to interact with the people who think your job is all about crafts and singing songs every day. The end is here, and Winter Break is too far away.
This article was written by Andy McCall. Andy is in his 9th year teaching and does everything to honor his little girl, Penelope, who passed last year. Check him out on his Blog or on Facebook: Penelope’s Path.
