LAUGH
Being a teacher is a lot like being in a post-apocalyptic horror movie. The things we see and hear are sometimes the stuff of nightmares! Nothing captures our reality more than the Netflix hit, “Bird Box”. Here is the life of a teacher: according to Bird Box.
1. When you are on your fourth rainy day in a row and your students are acting like animals…
Look… I love rainy days as much as the next person. They make me want to start a fire, curl up with a good book, and drink a steaming cup of green tea. However, as a teacher, they make me want to rip my hair out and scream into the abyss. Do you know what it’s like to have four days of
2. When you are trying to manage your most rambunctious class after they go wildly off topic…
How do the chattiest kids who are all best friends end up in the same class together? And how do they consistently find a way to get us off topic every single class?!
3. When your classroom smells like feet… every day…
All the rainy days with the wet socks really aren’t helping.
4. When cold and flu season hits hard…
We do not have time to take sick days and make sub plans. Have you ever tried to make sub plans with a 101 degree fever? It feels like death itself! So please forgive us if we Lysol door handles and desks while vehemently pumping hand sanitizer every time one of our precious students lays a hand on us.
5. When you see an extremely talkative parent in the supermarket over the weekend…
Can I come out now? Is she gone? I really just want to buy more wine and cheese and return to my Netflix binge before Monday hits.
6. When you turn your back to write on the board and someone makes an inappropriate comment…
WHO SAID THAT?! I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL CATCH YOU.
7. When it is a beautiful day outside and you are stuck inside, teaching…
The birds are chirping, the sun is out, so why are we all cooped up inside? Give me two minutes and I will find a way for us to do our lesson outside so my pale skin gets the Vitamin D it so desperately deserves.
8. When you receive a remarkably thoughtful, brilliant piece of work from a student…
Hallelujah! Someone is actually listening to me when I talk! Thank you, sweet student, for putting such time and effort into this assignment. If only I could clone you and make all of the other responses as equally well-written and analytical.
9. When admin continues to pile on a bunch of busywork that is completely unrelated and not helpful to what we do in the classroom on a daily basis…
Stop right there! I’m happy to do all that you asked if you wouldn’t mind teaching my class of thirty teenagers with different learning needs and different learning styles.
10. When you are approaching the nearest break…
We’re rowing as fast as we can! We can practically hear next break calling our name! Bring on the lazy days, the late nights, and the free time. We can’t wait to finally take some time to decompress from our fulfilling but exhausting profession.
