LAUGH
Some of us, teachers drink. I know. Shocking. Contrary to popular belief, we are human. It’s no surprise that those of us who drink enjoy a nightcap, or a daycap on the weekend, as the case may be. Teaching is becoming more and more stressful as the years go by. We are constantly asked to do more with fewer and fewer resources which results in even more time working after hours from the comforts of our own homes. With budget cuts, our wine purchases should be considered a tax deduction or at least should be allowed to claim on our Flexible Spending Accounts. To make life easier, or at least more tolerable, here is a prepared wine pairing for each occasion a teacher faces.
1. Prosecco
This bubbly, Italian wine is ideal for those weekend mornings when you have papers to grade, lesson plans to write, laminated die-cut letters to cut out, and, oh yeah, a life as well. Add a little orange juice for a refreshing mimosa or for a more festive touch, add some cranberry juice for a poinsettia. When all else fails and you don’t have the energy to concoct a lavish beverage, just pour it on your Cheerios. No one is judging.
2. Merlot
Merlot is one of the world’s most popular red wines. It is perfect for after a 2-hour staff meeting that could have been conducted via email. The bold fruit lingers on your tongue, much like the comments from that colleague who insisted on giving input on every topic just when you thought the meeting was over, lingers in your mind.
3. Gewurztraminer
This varietal is usually very sweet, much like the little cherubs you will be teaching this year. It is no surprise that this varietal goes best when paired with the evening after Back to School Night when each and every one of the students (and parents) you just encountered are just as sweet as the wine.
4. Blends
Red blends are made from two or more varietals. These are ideal for after those PLC meetings. What better way to celebrate teacher collaboration and the coming together of great minds than to drink the coming together of great wines!
5. Chianti
An earthy wine that will whisk you away to the Tuscan countryside the minute you take your first sip is perfect for the end of a long day of parent conferences. While many think this Italian wine goes well with only Italian food, it actually goes well with anything… including the high expectations put on you and the excuses you heard today for why the cherub doesn’t do his homework. (Remember him? Refer to Gewurztaminer.)
6. Port
At 19%-20% alcohol, this brandy fortified wine is THE wine for an evening after a field trip. Enough said.
7. Petite Syrah
With an alcohol content of 14%-15%, this wine is best enjoyed any time after April when you still have 6 weeks of school but… oh jeez, are there really still 6 weeks of school? It doesn’t matter what day of the week or what meeting you had. You are on month seven of the school year. Pop the cork. Throw it away. You won’t need to recork at this point in the year. Did I mention no one is judging?
8. Champagne
Bubbles tickle your nose as you drink this cheerful beverage on the first day of summer vacation. It’s no coincidence that once you pop a bottle of champagne there is no getting that cork back in the bottle. It’s a good thing you modeled this skill for yourself with the Petite Syrah. Consider it independent practice in your summer lesson plan. This is enjoyed best with a teacher friend while sitting kid-free by the pool, or all alone where no one is asking to use the restroom or sharpen a pencil.
Ernest Hemingway once stated, “My only regret in life is that I didn’t drink more wine”. Who am I to argue with that? It has been said that wine gets better with age. So do teachers. Thank goodness that one is there to help the other along the way. Cheers!
