LAUGH
Experienced teachers have instinctive capabilities, unlike most other human beings. There are certain things that set them apart from those new to the classroom, and those who’ve never stood in a teacher’s shoes. Here are 13 ways you know you’ve been in the teaching game for a while:
1. If a second grader says, “I don’t feel good…” you’re holding a trash can under their chin before they finish that sentence.
2. If a 7th grader says, “Want to hear a joke?… Are you sure?…hee, hee, hee,” you know not to say yes–it most definitely will be inappropriate.
3. If you say something funny and your middle school students laugh, you don’t wonder if they are laughing with you or at you-you know it’s the latter.
4. You know that the sentence: “This is due tomorrow,” to a teenager, means the same thing as: “Don’t forget to take the trash out” or “Put your dishes in the dishwasher“…it doesn’t matter how many times you say it.
5. You learned that voice volume is not a concept children understand. Kids WILL yell when speaking to the person sitting an inch away.
6. You’ve come to the conclusion that these days, to get students’ attention, you’d have better luck “Snapchatting” your lessons.
7. You know that if you want students to work, letting them listen to their music helps.
8. You’ve realized that eating lunch is something you can look forward to after you retire.
9. You’ve learned that a middle schooler’s social life is EVERYTHING, and can be used against them to thwart their evil ways.
10. You’ve discovered that planning time during school hours is like a unicorn — existing in a mystical world of rainbows full of Skittles. Good luck actually finding any.
11. You hate hoodies. They are the end-all, be-all way to PISS OFF a teacher.
12. You’ve realized that second graders don’t capitalize “I” or end their sentences with punctuation. And apparently, neither do 4th graders, 6th graders, or 8th graders!
13. You know that even if you spend eight hours of your glorious weekend finessing lesson plans to be a perfect combination of fun and interesting, it doesn’t matter. Students don’t give a crap.
This article was written by Amy Slagle — a middle school teacher juggling career, husband (ooh la la), and twin tomboys (good grief). She has a passion for writing and craves laughter just about as much as frozen yogurt. This is her attempt at sharing the madness of her world, her mind, and her humor.
