Real Talk
Now, I’m not going to lie, this article was challenging to write because teachers are AH-MAY-ZING. But, in response to the post 10 Things Parents Do that Teachers Hate,I thought parents should get some equal time. I mean, nobody is perfect.
Most of us are teachers and parents, and we can quickly switch teams on any given day. In fact, some of us are very judgmental of our kids’ teachers because we compare them to ourselves.
Here are a few of the more popular ways we sometimes annoy our students’ parents.
1. Assigning homework on the weekend
Yes, as a teacher, I agree wholeheartedly here. Students should have their weekends free of the worry and stress of school. Everybody needs downtime to spend with their families and friends and find their passions and hobbies, without homework hanging over their heads.
2. Lying to us about our kids
Some may call this sugarcoating to spare the feelings of the parents. Teachers do have a unique code that turns negatives into, well, not-so-negatives. For example, teachers tend to say, “Your child is a very hands-on learner,” instead of saying, “Your kid has their hands on everyone and everything in their path.”
Parents (some, not all) want and need to hear the truth about their children. This is the only way they can help correct the behavior. (Wouldn’t that be a Christmas miracle?}
3. Talking to you about how bad your child is in front of other parents
Well, some teachers are brutally honest and don’t care who hears them.
There is a place and time for everything, and most teachers respect the privacy of their families. It’s just the ones that scream, “JOEY’S MOM, I need to talk to you about how Joey peed in the water fountain today,” at dismissal time amongst every parent in the second grade. This can be mortifying for parents.
4. Punishing the whole class for the behavior of a few
Keeping kids in from recess or giving the whole class detention for the behavior of a few students often backfires and creates a poor teacher-student relationship. Parents get furious when their child is punished for something they did not do.
5. Using EDUSPEAK
Teachers sometimes forget that not everyone knows what an SLG or PLC is. We are so used to the education jargon we hear daily that we sometimes forget that everyone isn’t exposed to the same language acronyms and educational buzzwords. How lucky are they?
6. Showing favoritism to a few students
Parents and students take notice in a class where the teacher has obvious favorites. We get it; some students are just easier to love. They participate, laugh at jokes, have good manners, and are easy to talk to.
But blatant preferential treatment harms everyone and can cause students and parents to distrust teachers and the school.
7. Not giving timely feedback on tests
Parents love to hear how their child did on a particular test or assignment, so parents hate it when feedback comes in late. When assignments are graded a month later than they are turned in, there is no opportunity for students to improve their learning or get any parental support. Timely feedback is important and should be a top priority for teachers.
8. Ignoring parents
I am not talking about immediate teacher response to emails or communication; teachers should maintain boundaries. I am talking about teachers who refuse to engage with parents at all and never respond to any correspondence. Positive teacher/family interactions can be a key to positive student/teacher relationships.
9. Rewarding students for doing well on standardized testing
I have been guilty of this because the administration ties our value as educators to the results of these tests. Unfortunately, offering incentives will not change the results and will cause more test anxiety.
Some students are not good test takers, and leaving them out of celebrations will only increase apathy and fear of testing. Parents are opting out of these tests for good reason.
10. Complaining about parents on social media
Even though everyone needs to vent, it doesn’t feel good when an entire group of people gets blamed for some bad apples. So, when teachers make a blanket statement about parents being enablers and out of control, it feels the same as when parents blame all teachers for not doing their jobs.
As educators, we strive to have good partnerships with our families because it leads to successful students, which is our goal. Reflecting on practices that might interfere with positive relationships because parents hate them is critical to establishing a productive and collaborative learning environment. And don’t we all want that?
