There’s a TikTok making its way around the internet highlighting a high school teacher’s quick rundown of all the ridiculous things students have said to her in the last few days. It’s not only insanely funny, but as a high school teacher myself I can vouch for everything in the video being 100% accurate. If you haven’t seen it yet, you can check it out below (at least until the government bans TikTok permanently…so you might want to hurry).

The beauty of the video is that the insanity comes from all different angles and perspectives. From sick burns to oddball questions to references we don’t get to whatever lingo the kids are using these days; this TikTok pretty much covered all the bases. And if you think for a minute that this only happens to certain teachers or at certain grade levels, let me assure you these golden nuggets of hilarity are everywhere.

1. The Sick Burn

Roasting your teacher, or poking fun at them in some way, has been a time-honored tradition since Aristotle called Plato’s mother fat (hey, maybe that actually happened, maybe it didn’t). But depending on who you’re teaching, the insults most definitely change. Even kindergartners these days are feeling frisky enough to call out their teacher with a classic like, “You smell like poo.” As they get older, the insults get slightly more refined and can come in the form of questions like, “Miss, are the desks this far apart so your butt can fit between them?”

It’s in the upper grades, however, that you really get the creative slams that leave you dumbfounded and devastated but, at same time, kind of impressed at the imagination behind them. Once a student tells you that you look like a Simpsons character that they only used once, it sticks with you.

2. The Slang is Getting Out of Control

Once upon a time we had words that only sounded good when we used them. It belonged to us and, when parents and teachers would try to use them in conversation, it hit us like a frying pan to the face. Some of us had “wicked,” “radical,” “far out,” and “tubular.” Others had buggin’,” “as if,” and “gag me with a spoon.” Now we are the adults (God help us) and we are the ones being bombarded with words that make absolutely no sense. And maybe it’s just me, but at least when we were kids our words were fairly easy to translate.

But I swear, if one more skibbidi toilet from Ohio tells me to rizz up a gyatt, I’m going to, like, totally go postal on that righteous dude.

3. The Questions That NEVER End

As a teacher, you yearn for your students to ask questions. At the end of the day, answering questions is literally one of your primary functions as an educator. It would be nice, however, if they pertained to the lesson and made sense in some small way. Now, if you’re teaching the lower end of elementary school, I’m pretty sure handling 5,000 nonsense questions an hour is standard operating procedure. Everything from “Why do babies smell funny?” to “When are you going to die?” is on the table. Then of course there are those questions designed to learn more about you. “What’s your second favorite color?” is actually surprisingly deep for a 7-year old if you really think about it. The fact that it’s asked while you’re in the middle of explaining how plants grow is the problem.

At some point around middle school, students begin to “discover” things about the world and are convinced they are the only ones that have ever thought this. That’s when you get some truly banger questions like “Did you ever stop and think that while it’s daytime here, it’s nighttime somewhere else?” or “What if we named all the colors wrong?”

Eventually they get to high school and somehow find a way to combine the outlandishness of little kid questions with the knowledge of older students and just start pelting you with theories, like “If we all stood on one side of Earth, we could probably get it to change its orbit” or “What if math was invented by someone that just hated kids?”

4. Honest, yet hilarious, attempts to get to know you

Students do love buddying up to their teachers. Whether it’s being a teacher’s pet in elementary school or just legitimately being friendly to teachers in high school, it’s something everyone has done at some point. It’s just that sometimes on the way to being friendly, there are some things that high schoolers say that make you scratch your head. I’ve had multiple students offer to cut my hair and proceed to tell me all the styles they want to inflict on me. Honestly, they could be making these words up and I’d have no idea.

They also love commenting on whatever you’re wearing, but it’s getting harder to tell whether they approve or not. Say a student tells me that my “fit is blousy.” Do they like what I’m wearing? Or do they hate it? Do they mean I’m in shape? Does my shirt look like a blouse? Who’s to say?

5. Fake Facts

Ah, TikTok giveth and TikTok taketh away. Mostly it’s given us funny clips like the one I’m writing about now, but it has taken away so much more. Like pretty much all of the common sense that anyone under the age of 18 may have ever had. Back in the good old days, kids would come to school and make up fantastical stories about their older brother who’s a 14th degree black belt kung fu master, but also works for the government undercover, and for the most part the teacher would roll their eyes and move on with their day.

But today children are coming to school armed with what they think is knowledge, but is in fact very, very stupid pieces of incorrect trivia. And they are here to interject one of these turd-laden gems right in the middle of your lesson if you dare to offer up information that, in any way, goes against the teaching of their Lord and Spiritual Leader… The Internet. Most teachers will tell you that if a child’s sentence starts with “Did you know…” then there’s a 75% chance that what follows is utter crap, a 24 percent chance that it’s correct and you did, in fact, know that, and a 1% percent chance that it is both correct and new to you.

High schoolers. They make us laugh, they make us cry (and suffer), but there really is never a dull moment as a high school teacher.

You'll never believe what high schoolers say to us