Teacher Jokes for the Teachers’ Lounge

Let’s be honest for a second. Teaching is incredibly hard work! Teachers love their students and work tirelessly to mold them and shape them into smart human beings. It can be tempting to spend time in the teachers’ lounge venting and complaining — we get it! But why not spread some fun and positivity, too? Next time you and your exhausted colleagues take a break, share a few of these hilarious jokes made just for teachers!

Jokes for Elementary Teachers

Which schoolteachers have the greenest thumbs? The kinder-garden teachers.
What is smarter than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
Last night my classroom was broken into, and all the dictionaries were stolen. I’m at a loss for words.
What is a pirate’s favorite subject at school. Arrrrt.
Where does a math teacher eat? At the multiplication table.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
How do bees get to school? On the school buzz.
Why was the cafeteria clock behind? It went back four seconds.
Why did the teacher become a gardener? She wanted to help her students grow.
Why wouldn’t the elephant use a computer? It was afraid of the mouse.
What is a witch’s favorite class in school? Spelling.
What did the buffalo dad say at school drop off? Bi-son.
Which class eats the most vegetables? The kinder-garden class.
Art teachers are great because they always draw out the creativity in their students.

Jokes for Secondary Teachers

Math Teachers

Why did the student get upset when her teacher called her average? It was a “mean” thing to say.
What do you call a ruler, a protractor, and a compass all hanging out together? Weapons of math instruction.
Why did pi get its driver’s license taken away? He didn’t know when to stop.
What kind of meals do math teachers eat? Square ones.
Why did the math teacher go to the beach? She wanted to work on her tan-gent.
What is a math teacher’s favorite season? Sum-mer.
What is a math teacher’s favorite snake? A pi-thon.
Where are math teachers buried? In the symmetry.
Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
Why was the geometry class always tired? It was out of shape.
Why did the number go to therapy? It couldn’t find its true value.
What do you get when you cross a teacher and a calculator? Someone you can always count on.
My math teacher used to be a banker, but he lost interest.
Why was the equal sign so humble? It knew it wasn’t lesser or greater than anyone else.
What do you call a number that doesn’t stay in one place? A roaming numeral.
What is a bird’s favorite subject at school? Owl-gebra.
Why was the math lecture so long? Because the teacher went off on a tangent.

Science Teachers

What do you call it when a biology teacher takes a picture of himself? A cell-fie.
Do you want to hear some puns about rocks? I’ll dig some up.
How much do neutrons cost? Nothing. They are free of charge.
What do you call a second-place trophy in an astronomy contest? A constellation prize.
Why did the science teacher read a book about helium? Because it was uplifting.
What is a geology teacher’s favorite kind of music? Rock music.
How does a science teacher freshen his breath? With experi-mints.
What do you call an educated test tube? A graduated cylinder.
What do you get when you cross a science teacher and a dog? A lab-ratory retriever.
What did the science teacher wear to school? Designer genes.
What is a physics teacher’s favorite kind of music? Heavy metal.
How does a biology teacher send a message quickly? With his cell phone.

English Teachers

I’m close to knowing 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
How is an English teacher like a judge? They both give out sentences.
Why should you never date an apostrophe? Because they are too possessive.
What pencil did Shakespeare write with? 2B.
Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? It was overbooked.
What is an English teacher’s favorite kind of tea? Novel-ty.
What do English teachers eat for breakfast? Comma flakes.
What is an English teacher’s favorite breakfast? Synonym rolls.
Why are writing teachers always cold? They are surrounded by drafts.
What do you call a cross between an English teacher and software engineer? A pro-grammar.
What do you call an English teacher addicted to social media? An insta-grammar.

History Teachers

Which king loved fractions? Henry the 1/8.
What is a snake’s favorite subject at school? Hisss-tory.
Where did Nicolas Romanov II get his coffee? Tsarbucks.
My friend knows how to read a map better than anyone. He’s a legend.
Why don’t history teachers play hide-and-seek? Because good historians are always found in the past.

Music Teachers

What’s a teacher’s favorite type of music? Class-ical.
What do you call a fish who teaches music? A bass-oon.
What do you call a music teacher with problems? A very trebled man.
What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? Bach in the saddle again.
Where do piano teachers go on vacation? The Florida Keys.
Why was the music teacher get locked out of her classroom? She couldn’t find the right key.

Jokes for All Teachers!

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says, “Spit your gum out!” and a train says, “Chew, chew.”
Why did the teacher marry the janitor? Because he swept her off her feet.
What’s the difference between a pizza and a teacher? A pizza can feed a family of four.
Why did the echo get detention? It kept talking back.
Why did the teacher bring a ladder to school? She wanted to go to high school.
What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance? Absent-minded.
Why did the teacher jump into the ocean? To test the waters.
What kind of school does the ice cream man go to? Sundae school.

Enjoy the teachers’ lounge a bit more with these fun jokes guaranteed to have your fellow educators laughing while they work.

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