40 (Hilarious!) Teacher Affirmations to Get You Through the School Year

Affirmations are positive sayings that promote mental stability. Normally, adults speak affirmations into their lives to help them reach inner peace or a personal goal. However, as teachers thrive on sarcasm, we also have some hilarious affirmations just for us!

1. Every day is a fresh hell, but at least it’s not boring.
2. With coffee by my side, all things are possible… except the coffee being hot.
3. I am capable to make the most out of today… as long as admin leaves me alone.
4. I am worthy of love… and also a salary increase.
5. I do not have “problem students;” I have opportunities to manage my frustration.
6. I am a magnet for success, and also for helicopter parents who never leave me alone.
7. I am at peace with myself and my surroundings, up until the first bell rings.
8. I am aligned with my purpose in life, as well as with state-mandated benchmarks.
9. I wake up motivated… to return to my bed as quickly as possible.
10. Today will be a great day… if that one kid is absent.
11. Today I will drown out the negativity surrounding me in a comically large vat of coffee.
12. I can be whatever I want to be, as long as I don’t want to be well paid.
13. Today will be a productive day… as long as everyone leaves me alone during my planning period.
14. Each and every day I get closer to accomplishing my goal… retirement.
15. I am independent and self-sufficient… as long as the copier doesn’t break down.
16. I am filled with focus… and thousands of ungraded assignments.
17. I will rise above the thoughts that try to bring me down… and especially the ones that could get me fired.
18. I am an unstoppable force… my class just happens to be an immovable object.
19. All I need would be within me right now… if I had, like, a million dollars.
20. I am getting better each and every day… at convincing people I know what I’m doing.
21. I am getting healthier every day… mostly because I never have time to eat.
22. I control my emotions, they do not control me. My face, however, is completely on its own.
23. My self-worth is not determined by my student’s grades. Now please explain that to administration.
24. I have the power to change my story, but not the state-mandated curriculum.
25. My mind is clear and my focus is unwavering, as long as the office doesn’t call me during my lesson.
26. The peace that I need is inside me… buried under 50 pounds of stress and anxiety.
27. I am resilient in the face of change… because around here it happens on a daily basis.
28. Only good things happen to me… if you count two hour faculty meetings as good things.
29. I trust myself to be successful… it’s everyone else I worry about.
30. It’s OK for me to have fun… as long as it’s documented in my lesson plan and aligned to a specific learning goal.
31. I will find moments of joy today… predominantly the ten minutes I get to eat and pee.
32. My goals are achievable… and also Specific, Measurable, Relevant and Time-sensitive.
33. I am on the right path… as I sprint to my car at the end of the day.
34. I can make a real difference… if only my students would put their phones down and look at me.
35. I will be kind to myself today and only stay two hours after school catching up on work.
36. I will turn negative thoughts into positive ones. I am positively suffering from burnout.
37. My possibilities are endless, as are the list of excuses from my students.
38. I let go of all my fear… until admin shows up in my classroom unannounced.
39. I am a valuable and needed individual, as evidenced by the fact that there are no subs available whenever I am sick.
40. My worth is not determined by external factors, up to and including my paycheck, apparently.

Teachers, if you feel burned out or doubtful (which most of us feel daily), remind yourself of one of these teacher-friendly affirmations to turn that frown upside down.